Monday, 2 October 2017

Introducing Baby #2


So it has been a long time since I wrote a blog post.  If you follow me over on instagram you will know that my pregnancy went a little bit wrong from about 33 weeks and our beautiful little girl entered the world at 36 weeks. When you have everything planned out, it can be hard to accept when things don't quite go the way you expected, especially as this is my last pregnancy, I wanted it to be perfect as stupid as that sounds.  I haven't been mentally able to write our birth story, or the story that followed.  But our beautiful girl is now 12 weeks old and it is time to introduce her over on my little blog.  I have finally downloaded our gorgeous newborn shoot photographs, so what better way.  despite her being 12 weeks old, we are all very much still in a newborn bubble, trying to make time go slower and enjoying every moment with our girl.  There was a moment after she was born, I wasn't sure we would get to keep her and I want to spend every minute I can soaking her up, instead of tied to my computer or phone.  I will get back into the swing of things, I have so much I want to share here for me to look back on.  But for now, let me introduce to you;


Ottilie Iris Jane
5th July 2017 
1.45am 

The perfect final piece to our family jigsaw. 



It is nice to be back over here, and hopefully I will get my writing mojo back.  On a side note, I would like to thank each and every person who has commented and messaged during these 12 weeks.  It is so hard to get round to reply to everyone but your kindness has meant so much to me, especially during our neonatal stay and all the breastfeeding support we have received.   I honestly have been overwhelmed by the wonderful instagram community. So thank you, thank you so very much. 





Saturday, 20 May 2017

10 Newborn 'Must Haves' Under £50


I have always loved reading these kind of posts and I have always loved seeing what other parents rate on the baby product front.  When I had Freddie I  read tons of blogs seeing what the must have baby products were and to be honest the recommendations did not let me down and I never felt like I had bought things that were a waste or I didn't need. So I have written a list of my top baby favourites under £50! I also have another post with my top higher ticket items.  Now I know 'must haves' will always get people saying "well you don't need those things, babies used to have a drawer and a blanket and were fine" and of course you don't need all these things for your baby but if you do have money to spend on your new arrival these are the top ten items under £50 that I couldn't live without.

1. Milton Dummy Steriliser 
The cheapest of my baby must have items at only £5, I loved this milton dummy steriliser when I had Freddie.  If your baby has a dummy, you will begin many month of picking dummies off the floor! This portable dummy steriliser is brilliant. I always set it up in the morning as part of my packing the bag routine and attached it with the handy velcro strap.  I would keep the dummy inside whilst not in use and if you need to sterilise on the go, you just pop it in, twist it and voila.

2. The Gro Company Gro Egg Room Thermometer 
This product appears on pretty much every baby must have list. I loved this with Freddie, especially as our flat gets very hot and very cold it was invaluale to have a product that could accurately tell me the room tempurature.  It glows blue, yellow, orange and red to which means you can quickly identify whether the tempurature is ok without having to actually check the screen.  They are also a pretty handy nightlight! You can pick one up on Amazon for £13/£14 so a pretty good price too. Definitely an item I wouldn't be without. 

3. Whispbear The Fluffy Humming Bear
Ok so I'm not going to tell Mr P how much I spent on this but I have seen rave reviews about this product everywhere recently! For Freddie we had a Ewan the dream sheep, which was invaluable but he hasn't lasted for this baby and he had his downsides. However the Whispbear has magnetic legs so you can attach to the side of the crib without worrying it will fall onto baby, it also has a sensor so when it hears baby crying it fades in a humming/shhhing sounds for 40 minutes and then a further 20 minutes if it detects further sounds. No need to turn on and off, as soon as it hears baby, it's on it! With this being baby number 2, I won't be able to always rush straight to baby if I'm sorting Fred out so I think this is going to be super helpful and we were a big fan of white noise etc last time. At £39.99 it is expensive but not much more than Ewan and my only expensive luxury item I think. 

 
4. Cot top changer 
This one is a practical item and I know not everyone sees the interest of having one. I had a changing table with Freddie and I found it invaluable, it was one of my favourite baby items. This time with baby and F sharing a room, there is no room for one, until I discovered this cot top changed from Toys are us for only £24.99! It is bigger than I thought and does stick out a bit from baby's cot as she has a standard cot not a cot bed, but I know it will be worth it. Being able to change baby without clambering on the floor when i may have had another c section, and also being able to change baby out the way of her cheeky big brother is going to be so helpful. I have all the nappies etc in baskets right beside the cot, organisation and simplicity is the key to an easier life with a baby! 

5. Feeding pillow
Despite breastfeeding not working out last time I still loved my pillow. It was so helpful after my c section to take the pressure of my tummy. It's also great for smaller guests to cuddle baby on, I know Freddie will be able to cuddle baby girl properly using this. And I plan to breastfeed again so it will mostly be super useful for feeding. I LOVE this floral print one I found on Amazon for only £20 and it has removable foam so you can make it as firm or soft as you like. It's lovely quality and I just love it even more because it's floral! 
 
6. Shnuggle Cosy Bath Tub
I know not everyone uses a baby bath, but annoyingly our bath lets heat out so quickly it's impossible to get the bath temp right for a baby. I loved our baby bath last time, and enjoyed using it in the lounge with the lights turned down of an evening followed by lovely massage etc. Problem was even the baby bath you needed to hold baby with one arm and use a support. With this bath it's a different shape and has  bottom rest to stop baby sliding down and a soft back rest so baby is comfortable, giving you two hands to wash those tiny bods. I can definitely see why it's won lots of awards! It's a much better size for storing too, and definitely safer than baby being in with F, who  seems to think he is Shamu at every bath time! If your an Amazon prime customer you can get the bath in pink for only £19.99 too! 
 
7. Muslins
Are you even a parent if your don't LOVE muslins? Is there anything you can't use muslins for?! They are definitely my number 1 must have item! Freddie's have become his comforters and he has a drawer next to his bed of about 50 haha so I'm sure he will be pinching baby girls! this time I have also got some extra large muslins for swaddling, perfect for a summer baby. I have picked up some gorgeous prints from Matalan and Asda and the XL swaddling organic cotton muslin for LuLuJo Baby that is so so soft and light. You can pick up packs of 3 for £4 in Asda and primark too so they are a bargain too! 

8. Bath thermometer 
For some reason I didn't buy a digital one last time I had one of those ones that like plastic and the temperature shows on a black strip (90s style I know!) problem is by the time you lift it out the water the temp had gone, so I found it a bit stressful never quite knowing. This Tommee Tippee one is great and only £9 on Amazon so a much better price than its Phillips competitor! 

9. Tommee Tippee Steriliser
This is the exact same as I had last time, and although it hasn't lasted for another baby (I don't think I would expect it to though!) I knew I would buy the same again. I never had any issues or complaints with it. I liked the design, super easy to use and the starter packs also comes with some bottles, a dummy and a cleaning brush. Which means I don't need to buy any other bottles straight away etc unless breastfeeding doesn't work out. I loved Tommee Tippee products last time and hopefully will be just as happy with them this time! I got this on offer on Amazon for £32.99 half price. I've still included it in my under £50 list though as they run the offer a lot through the year so I am sure you can also pick one up for that price. 

10. Swaddle blanket
We swaddled Freddie from day one and will definitely be doing the same for baby girl. I didn't have an official swaddling blanket last time as I thought they were expensive and unnecessary however wriggly fred always managed to escape his swaddle and in my sleep deprived state it would often take me a couple of goes to get it right. I saw this for £10  from mothercare and decided for that price it was worth a try! I love the pretty floral pattern and it's light breathable fabric. It has velcro in place to make it nice and easy and I can't wait to snuggle baby girl up in it ready for bedtime. I'll definitely be packing this in my hospital bag too! 
 
I would love to hear what other products under £50 you love! Am I missing any 'must haves' for my newborn? 

 

Friday, 5 May 2017

Bump Diaries - 28 Weeks Pregnant

 
Ahhhh! I've reached the third trimester! How can I be 28 weeks pregnant?! I know I say it all the time but I just feel totally mind blown that we are here at 28 weeks! For me, the ten week countdown until induction is now on. Panic stations! 
 
It's been a slightly more eventful 2 weeks since my last update...

Symptoms:
Tiredness obvs. Although I'm not sure if this is a symptom or just my life now haha. I feel like I should have it put on my answering machine.   Similar to last week I'm really aching, my pelvis and back are really feeling the effects now. I didn't experience the pelvic pain first time around,  I now suspect that baby is head down which might explain why. The other symptom that is driving me mad, and I can't remember if I've mentioned it before as I've actually had it on & off since 12 weeks, is like constant sinus pain. I am always stuffy and am waking during the night with dryest mouth, literally no amount of water helps, and I think it's because im mouth breathing! I've been told it's a pregnancy thing and well, it can bugger off quite frankly! I'm really breathless in general and even sitting up in the car leaves me feeling horrid. I'm waiting to find out if I'm aneamic which could explain the severity of symptoms. I literally feel like I'm going to pass out if I'm sitting upright too long, someone tell me they've had this too?! It's driving me bananas! 

Cravings:
Give me all the apples. They need to be really crunchy and have been in the fridge though. If not you will have a pregnant women's wrath to deal with. 

Diabetes and Hospital:
This has all been a bit shite this week, you may have seen my Instagram mini meltdown (thanks for all the lovely dms by the way!) - I won't bore you with too much detail as I know the ins and outs of diabetes will confuse most people but the insulin resistance is really becoming a problem. I am on triple the amount of inusin I was on now. I am eating as less carbs as possible to help, but they just have a mind of their own. I ended up in the triage unit on Tuesday thanks to my sugars climbing and climbing. They eventually got to 22 and no insulin was doing anything so I had to go in. It was good to hear baby girl doing well on the monitor, I am booked in for a scan on our return from Butlins next week so we can see how she is doing. The anxiety knowing these sugars are likely to be affecting her leaves me so tearful, I am doing everything i can, and I am feeling really let down by my medical team, which I am going to find the strength to deal with. I also have noticed a difference since I had the new pump, I'm not sure I'm really getting on with it, so again something to talk about. I'm just sitting tight & doing everything I can until we can get some answers from the scan. 
 
 

Bedroom, mood and kicks:
 
Wow this girl can move. Her movements are absolutely incredible, she keeps me up until about 2 every morning as I just can't sleep through her huge rolls. Mr P and Freddie have felt her so much this week. I love seeing their expressions when they feel her little knees sticking out, all the feels! 
 
 
I've definitely been feeling a bit down this week. Just because the frustrations of diabetes and pregnancy and feeling let down by the hospital. But my mood has definitely been lifted by our little trip away, I got some lovely new maternity clothes, got dressed up for a wedding, got my nails done etc so that was a lovely pick me up. I don't remember being so emotional with Fred, I wonder if it's a girl pregnancy thing?! 

 
 
 
The best thing this week is we finally got the bedroom done. A few finishing touches are needed but I am so in love with it! There will of course be a post coming, as I can't wait to share with you. I'm so impressed how we've made a small space work and look so good, it's also really helped with the fact we won't be moving before baby comes. If you saw my Insta you will see we lost our dream house in the ruthlessness that is buying a house here, and as of yet there really is nothing on the market remotely close to what we want so I've had to accept there will most likely be no move in 2017, so doing up there room has definitely helped me feel better about it.  I can finally start buying more clothes etc, there really is something so special about folding away all those first clothes. I've been organising and reorganising the drawers a million times already! There's just something so special about preparing for a baby isn't there! 

 
Would love to hear how you are feeling at 28 weeks, I know there are lots of you with very close due dates to me! 

Thank you for reading lovelies.. next stop 30 weeks!!! 

 


Before it's over...


 
I found out I was pregnant in November, that seems forever ago now. I feel like I've been pregnant for the longest time and I still have ten weeks to go. Yet, unlike my first pregnancy I have never wished forward the weeks. I've been excited to reach milestones, yes, but I've never wanted the weeks to hurry. 

I've been feeling a strange kind of feeling the last few weeks. With now only 11 weeks until we meet our baby, I can see the end is near. My heart skips a beat with excitement and anticipation when I think about holding our sweet little girl but I also feel overwhelmed with sadness. 

Despite having the risks my diabetes brings to this baby and my pregnancy, I love being pregnant. From the moment I conceived, both times, I felt different. Special. Like I was in a bubble. It's hard to explain, unless you've felt it too. People say that I'm glowing, and I dont think it's necessarily in the physical sense, but more an aura, I feel like my feet are half an inch of the ground. I'm proud of my body, I love what my body is doing, I love that growing tummy, I just love being pregnant. But of course, loving pregnancy this much, means I miss it all the more when it's over.

I remember as a little girl, imaging having a baby in my tummy one day. Laying in bed pushing my tummy out and imagining what it would be like. With Freddie's pregnancy I was so anxious, unsure and impatient I don't feel i embraced it enough, if I cherished it enough. 

You see, the reason I'm so emotional about this is I know this will be my last pregnancy. Even writing that gives me such a huge pang. Almost like I'm mourning that I will never be pregnant again. 

I know it seems so final to hear a 24 year old say that this is their last baby. I know it won't be easy. Having my babies young means so many friends will be having babies in the next 10 years, I'll have done the baby thing and I will undoubtedly find myself painfully broody. If I could be pregnant and not have a baby then I would do that, but I know we only want two children. For many reasons, many practical, costs are a huge factor, we want to be able to give our children the world, I never want to say sorry you can't go on the ski trip. I know we can more than comfortable afford two children and having funds to give them the opportunities, Holidays, bedrooms and yes material things in life is really important to us. I know many won't agree, I think saying that will probably be frowned upon by many, but hey, we can't agree on everything can we! I also want to have plenty of time to concentrate on us as a family. The bigger the family the bigger the workload, washing etc. I know that sounds a ridiculous reason for only wanting two children but Something that is something I genuinely consider. I have to think about my health and wellbeing too, I find motherhood incredible, I was born to be a mum, but it's hard, I know things will be hard with two, although twice the reward and twice the love.  Two is just perfect for us. 

But the main reason, the reason behind the front of 'washing piles and cost of holidays, is a harder one to bare. Diabetes and pregnancy come with risks. Those risks are reduced with me being younger but they are still there, hanging over me. I hate that my diabetes has decided for me how many children I will or won't have. We have been so lucky, my first pregnancy was pretty smooth, we expected Freddie to be taken to special care after birth as 95% of babies born to diabetic mothers are, but he didn't. He was born in perfect condition, with no effects from my diabetes apart from being a big 8lb 6 at 38 weeks. We asked ourselves a million times if we were wrong to consider a second child. The medical teams have no issue with us wanting a second but I tormented myself. What if we weren't lucky this time, what if a newbaby did suffer complications, what if I did. I need to be well for Freddie. Should we be grateful for one healthy child and be happy? But I knew I didn't want him as an only child. The pros outweighed the cons and if we are lucky enough to repeat our last experience and bring home our baby girl healthy and happy then we have achieved our goal. Quite honestly I don't know if I could go through the angst again, from the detailed scans we had in London we have the all clear that baby girl hasn't got any heart condtions caused by me being type 1 diabetic, the relief was immense. But I don't want to risk it again. 

I am so happy to be a family of 4, and I don't see us with 3 children, I used too, and I love 3 children families, I was one in three, I love how a family of 5 looks in a photo (is that weird) but I know this is my last baby. Despite being happy with being a four I still can't shake this sadness that I most likely will never be pregnant again.

How do I cherish it? I want to savour every moment? My weekly bump pictures and updates on the blog will be so wonderful to look back on, and I know I will cherish them. 

As I lay here in bed, it's gone midnight and baby girl has woken for her nightly round of Zumba. It's dark with only the light of my phone. The boys are snoring softly beside me but apart from their soft snores it's silent. Only I know baby girl is awake. Only I know what she's doing. I stroke my hand across my tummy and she kicks back in response just as she has since 19 weeks. I can feel a knee or an elbow rolling to my right side. There is a magic to growing a baby inside you. The wonder, what will they look like, will she have hair. The excitement of picking out names, buying little vests and choosing sheets for the cot. All the exciting milestones, the scans, the announcements, the packing of the hospital bag, the leaving home with an empty car seat. It's such a beautiful time. I wish there was a way I could bottle the feeling. Bottle the feeling of her moving under my palm in the quiet of night. 

I guess we could change our minds, you never know what the future holds. But there will always be a last pregnancy, I think this is my last and I want to treasure every moment, before it's over. 
 


Thursday, 27 April 2017

Bump Diaries - 26 Weeks Pregnant

 
Right, I know every person who writes a pregnancy update says this every single time, but I cannot believe I am 26 weeks pregnant! 26 Weeks!! The first trimester was so long but this one is just flying by! I am only 4 weeks from 30 weeks, and only 12 weeks until my week of delivery! How can this be possible.  I haven't written an update since 20 weeks, I had been doing them every two weeks but I honestly do not know where the last 6 weeks have gone!

 
They have been pretty plain sailing to be honest.  Is it weird that that makes me anxious.  Everything seems to be going fairly smoothly *touches wood*. I haven't got a huge amount to update on but here is a run down of how I am at 26 weeks!

 
Symptoms:
Tiredness and achyness! I am cream crackered.  I am starting to really feel the effects of having a bump and chasing after a toddler.  I really don't want to have to say mummy can't do this or mummy can't do that, so I am trying to keep up with him, but after getting wedged at the top of soft play and thinking I was literally going to die up there (I mean could there be a worse place to cop it than soft play hell) I think I need to slow down a bit.  I have also been SO breathless.  I just feel so uncomfortable! Oh and my boobs are getting humungus and i'm already needing the occasional breast pad, I was totally freaked out to see I already had some *ahem* leakage, but here's hoping its a good sign for a positive breast feeding journey!

Cravings:
I want to eat CARBS. CAKE. BURGERS. But I am reaaaally testing my willpower and resisting.  so far I have only put on 6lbs, which considering I had lost almost 10lbs during the first trimester, means I am still not gaining huge amounts.  I am really working hard at eating a healthy balanced diet to keep baby nie and healthy and not give in to the urges to gorge on carbs and sugar.  I am still craving fruit, mainly apples and am known to eat about 5 a day haha.

Diabetes:
My diabetes is being a bitch to put it bluntly.  My insulin needs have sky rocketed and I have well and truly hit the stage of being insulin resistant.  It is causing me a great deal of anxiety not being able to always get my sugars where I want them, it is so frustrating when I am working so hard, but it really isn't easy.  I have seen the diabetic pregnancy team again this week and we have made more changes to my pump which will hopefully make a difference.  Just another incentive to stay away from the carbs!

Scans, Shopping and Stretch Marks:
We had our 25 week growth scan last week.  I will now be having scans every 4 weeks from 20 weeks to measure babies growth.  It was such a lovely scan and the midwife was really congratulatory of how well I am looking after this baby, she said there are no signs of baby being affected by my diabetes yet, which is such a huge relief.  Her measurements were all bang on average and slightly under.  With diabetes it is the abdominal measurement they keep a close eye on and it was perfect so I was thrilled! However, she was breech! which explains the very uncomfortable breathlessness.  I know there is loads of time or her to turn but Fred was the same, breech from 20 weeks all the way until the end.  I can feel she is still breech, all her kicks are right in my nether regions just like F.  I really hope she turns but the midwife did say it could be a coincidence or that maybe there is a reason my babies are breech like the shape of my pelvis. 
 

I have been doing a lot of baby shopping this week, we dont actually need much and I want to keep the baby buying as minimilistic as possible. But I've made a start on vests and babygrows, absolutely in love with the bits we got in next, they do the best sleepsuits! Also picked up a few tiny hats, and a beautiful floral one from Jojo Maman Bebe. I made some of the bigger purchases too including the cot, Caboo Close wrap and a gorgeous Joie Baby rocker. There isn't too much else we need, but I will sit down soon and wrote some lists! It's funny even though I had Freddie only two years ago, I really can't remember what I need! Family and friends have already been giving us gorgeous things for baby girl, people just love to buy for babies don't they! 

 
 
 
I seem to suddenly have a few stretch marks creeping in, I didn't get any until the last week with Fred, and I'm not sure if I'm getting new ones or the old ones are reappearing, I'm trying to moisturise and cream as much as possible but I know there's not much I can do really, and to be honest, they don't bother me that much. 

It's not been a very exciting update, I can't believe this is my last post before the third trimester! The weeks are really flying. I can't decide if i want time to speed up or slow down though, knowing this is most probably our last baby, makes me feel so different about the whole experience. But that's for another post. 

Thanks for reading, as always xx 

 

Saturday, 15 April 2017

Thoughts and feelings on the gender of baby #2

So in case you haven't heard...


And we cannot believe it!

When the Sonographer said "this looks like a little girl to me", I didn't get that oh my god feeling of shock, because I knew I was carrying a girl.  I could just feel it.  This pregnancy has felt very different right from day one.  I think it is still a shock to actually have it confirmed though!

We have now had 4 weeks to soak up the news, and I feel like we have been in a little bubble! I can't explain the excitement from our friends and family! People seem to get even more excited when you are having one of each!

I have to be honest, in the first week or so, I didn't share the excitement.  Of course I was excited to have a healthy baby and I really cannot wait to grow our little family, but I was just completely overwhelmed at the thought of having a girl.  From the moment the Sonographer said Fred was a boy, I just imagined myself with two boys.  over the last two years, I have learnt how to be a mum, a boy mum.  I have imagined myself with teenage sons and the challenges that will face, but girls?! I am not going to lie, I was really quite scare.  I think my sentiments when we got back into the car after a scan were "Shit a brick, a girl".  When I think back to me as a teenager, I shudder. I am incredibly close to my mum, we are best friends but it's been a journey, mum and daughter relationships are incredible, but they definitely come with trials and challenges.

Raising a girl brings a whole new range of challenges and am I really equipped for raising a girl in the 21st century.  Body image, the teenage years, raising a girl who knows her worth, who stands up for her gender equality etc, I know this might seem a bit much, and of course all of these things come for boys too, but I had my head around that.  As a girl, teenager and young women, I have always been 'on a diet' always criticizing myself, always doubted myself, but I am hoping my own story helps me shape our daughter to be strong and comfortable in her own skin.  I don't want my daughter to ever wonder if she is beautiful or if she could be Prime Minister.

4 weeks down the line and I am now so excited to have a girl, our girl.  Freddie is besides himself for his sister and tells everyone he is getting a "baby girl", she is a lucky lucky girl to have Freddie as her big brother.  Chris is so thrilled to be having a daughter and it has been beautiful to see, the smile on his face when we found out will always stay with me.  I mean he has said, and I quote, "I need to get back into kickboxing so I can scare her future boyfriends" but having never really had a traditional father daughter relationship, I know she is going to be one lucky lucky little girl.

Anyway, my girl, we can't wait to meet you, the perfect final piece of the puzzle.  The cherry on top of our little family.  I am so excited to have a daughter, I cant wait to pick out gorgeous outfits for you, and I cant wait to argue with you about how your school skirt is way to short.  I am not saying I will always get it right, but I will do my best.

Bring on the floral prints!










Thursday, 13 April 2017

Cadbury Great British Egg Hunt! #AD

Easter is by far my favourite holiday.  A four-day weekend, time with friends and family, the spring sunshine and of course not forgetting the chocolate.  So when Cadbury asked us if we would like to work in partnership with them, we jumped at the chance.  Easter just isn’t Easter without Cadbury!